People would absolutely hate me if I had become a police officer. The reason? Because I would constantly be on the look out for people violating minor traffic laws. I can’t think of anything that annoys me worse than people who are just plain inconsiderate drivers. I’ve felt this way since before I could drive.
Okay, let me run down my list of minor traffic annoyances. Some of these are illegal, while others are just inconsiderate. In each case their lack of consideration for other vehicles and/or traffic regulations makes them a danger to everyone on the road.
#1 The Tardy Signaler
The person who is about to make a right hand turn that slams on their brakes and THEN hits the turning single. Your turning signal is supposed to warn me that you are about to slow down and turn. Once you’ve locked up your brakes it’s a little to late to worry about that.
#2 - The Blocker
We have all been behind this guy. He drives 25 mph under the speed limit...until you get to a passing zone. You hit the long straight stretch, get ready to pull out and pass safely, and suddenly he floors it. As soon as he gets to the next turn he’s back to driving 25 mph under.
#3 - The Drafter
You’re minding your own business, driving down the road at the speed limit (or a little over) and all of a sudden this guy is on your back bumper. He gets so close you can’t see the grill of his car. He doesn’t pass, he just hangs out right on your tailpipe, unless you slam on the brakes. At that point he gets mad because YOU are driving dangerously. Maybe this guy has watched too man NASCAR races and thinks he can draft down Westerfield Drive to save some fuel.
#4 The Non-Passer
I got behind this guy this morning. You’ll recognize this guy when you get behind a slow moving vehicle, like a tractor or other farm equipment. I don’t mind the farm equipment, because those folks have a job to do. Most of them are even decent enough to get over and try to wave you around when they come to a good passing spot. The non-passer, however, will refuse to pass and hangs back just far enough that it becomes dangerous for you to pass.
#5 The Hands Free But I’m Going to Hold My Phone Anyway - er
I’ve actually seen this several times around Providence. On two occasions I was nearly run over while sitting at the stoplight. This driver has thought enough ahead to buy the hands free headset for their cell phone. Unfortunately, they bought the type of headset that has a cord, and here they come down the road with their phone in their hand as they try to make a ninety degree turn. The cord gets wrapped around the steering wheel and the turning signal and then they start swerving all over the road as they make a turn in my direction.
#6 The Variable Speed Driver
These people are the plague of the interstate system. You’re cruising along at 70 mph and come upon a car going 60. You get into the passing lane, get right beside him and suddenly he speeds up to match you. I can only assume that this driver doesn’t use cruise control, and in most cases I honestly believe that he or she doesn’t know they are doing it. What happens, however, is that you find yourself trapped in the left lane and have to either slam on your brakes or go way over the speed limit to make your turn.
#6 The Cutter
This is probably the one that annoys me the worst. You see this guy on the interstate when you are either coming up on road construction or when you are attempting to exit the interstate in a situation where traffic is lined up (such as when you’re going to a major sporting event). There have been signs up for two miles that tell you to be in the right lane. 99 percent of the cars on the road have gotten over to where they are supposed to be, leaving the left hand lane empty. This guy decides to ignore the signs, floors it and blows passed fifty or sixty cars. Then he gets to his exit or to where the lanes merge and turns on his signal expecting someone to let him over. I refuse, but that does bring me to my last one...
#8 The Enabler
This is he guy who lets The Cutter in line. Without this guy, The Cutter would just be trapped in the wrong lane. Without this guy, maybe other people would reconsider trying to line jump.
I guess it’s lucky for these people I’m not a traffic cop, huh?
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